National Donut Day

Yes, today is National Donut Day. I suspect that this frivolous "holiday" is more of a money making brain-gem dreamt up by PR folks working for donut-making corporations than a celebration of the ring shaped cake that so many of us know and love.

In truth, I find donuts difficult to stomach; most taste too sweet and too processed for my palate. However, I here set aside my personal biases to embrace the specialness of this day and to present you with a few bits of donut lore, review today's donut, and address briefly the donut's prospects for the future:

1. Legend has it that we have a clumsy cow to thank for the existence of donuts; the said cow apparently knocked a bucket of oil over a pile of raw dough, thus creating the prototype of today's donut.

2. Possible reasons for the hole in the middle of the donut:
a. During a storm at sea, the man who credits himself with inventing the donut shape of the donut, Captain Hansen, stuck a piece of fried cake on one of the spikes of his ship's steering wheel when making a wild grab for it.
b. As a result of a visit from an angel, Captain Hansen was made to understand that the donut must be relieved of its center.
c. Captain Hansen was a cheapskate and so took a chunk out of the middle of the donut to cut down on the cost of donut making ingredients, an explanation that seems less interesting than the others but perhaps more plausible.

Today the donut enjoys various modern permutations of itself: for example, you might, during a trip to the Pacific Northwest, pay a visit to Mighty-O, Seattle's well loved vegan donut shop, or you might, when finishing a meal at a high-end restaurant, find yourself tempted by a dessert listing featuring donuts, such as "Fresh Donuts with Deconstructed Bananas Foster."

One can only wonder where the donut will go next: I imagine a virtual donut, a no-calorie donut, a donut with wings that can make a man fly. Whatever the case, it is my semi-sincere hope that donuts and donut-lovers everywhere will enjoy bright and boundless, donut-laden futures.